Russian Romance

Sometimes you just feel like reading something nice...just a little bit of romance to break up the day or to allow yourself some light reading. You know...that 'nothing' sort of reading that just makes you feel good. The Romanov's are good for that, and I'll tell you why...Nicky and Alix (the Russian Tsar and his Tsarina) were madly in love and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you strip away all the details of the government of the day, take away some of their numerous servants...and put them at Livadia, which was their home at the sea...well, you have sort of a normal family. They didn't have the white picket fence, but, oh, who cares---they had the stone white walls around the palace!

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Alix had loved Nicky for years and years and probably wouldn't have married anyone if she hadn't married Nicky. And she almost didn't! In her own mind, the differences between her religion and his were insurmountable. She couldn't be crowned as Empress of Russia, knowing in her heart that she did not believe in their religion. It was wrong, wrong and wrong. So, she kept telling Nicky no. This went on for the longest time. Now...here you've got this Princess who has a handsome Tsar begging her for her hand...and she loves him too...yet she can't say yes. You have to give her a little credit. Her beliefs were very strong and in her heart she could not lie to God. It's a long story, and there's much more to tell, but finally, at a family wedding in Coburg, he got the news he had been waiting for. She said YES. I have a book here with some of their very private love letters to each other, and diaries. I thought I would share some of them...so you can see them as the real people they were...excited, in love, missing each other... so, we'll start with Nicky.

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Coburg, April 8, 1894 ~ 'A wonderful, unforgettable day in my life - the day of my betrothal to my dear beloved Alix. She came to Aunt Michen after 10 o'clock, and after they had talked, she and I had our discussion. God, what a mountain has fallen from my shoulders; with what joy I have been able to delight dear Papa and Mama! I spent the whole day in a haze, not quite knowing what had happened to me!'

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Nicky, Diary - April 11, 1894, Palais Edinburg, Coburg ~ 'Slept splendidly in Uncle Alfred's rooms downstairs to the left of the entrance. The weather was much warmer than in Coburg, everything was in full bloom and the scent wonderful. After coffee with the whole family, sat with Alix answering telegrams. Her attitude towards me has changed so much during the last few days, I am utterly entranced. This morning she wrote three sentences in Russian without a single mistake! At 11:30 we went together by char-a-banc to Rosenau, where her late parents, a brother and sister, are buried in a pavilion.'

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Nicky, April 12, 1894 ~ 'Woke up to a beautiful day. Went with Alix to have coffee with the Queen; now I must call her Granny. The infantry played under my windows like the dragoons. Wrote telegrams with Alix. At 11 0'clock went to church with the Queen. Looked at the group photographs taken before and after Ducky and Ernie's wedding. Alix and I went together to Rosenau by char-a-banc. Quite a number of people of people have gathered to play lawn-tennis and drink tea. Sat with my delightful bride. With Aunt Marie's permission, have moved from the castle into the cottage in her garden, next to the villa where Alix is staying. I am in Alfred's rooms, as he left today for Potsdam. Its very cosy, convenient and, most importantly, near to her.'

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Nicky, Diary- April 15, 1894, Good Friday - Coburg ~ 'At 10 o'clock went with Alix to breakfast with the Queen; it is so strange to be able to drive and walk alone with her, without feeling at all embarrassed, as if there was nothing unusual in it! The weather started to deteriorate, but we nevertheless set out on foot to the antiquary and to the wicker shop, where I brought a number of baskets for mushroom picking as well as a chaise-lounge for the camp. Alix gave me a ring. How funny it seemed to put it on my finger for the first time! Went with my darling bride to Rosenau by char-a-banc. We gathered flowers along the way and walked up to the house. Learned that the Queen would remain a further day because of the brisk weather in the Channel! During the service I carried the Shroud with Uncle Sergei. Dined with the Queen at 9 0'clock. Afterwards there was music, while some people sat in the adjoining room and talked. Returned home, sat for a further hour with dear Alix, she is calm and happy. Poured with rain.'

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Alix to Empress Marie, her future mother-in law, April 18th, 1894, Palais Edinburg, Coburg ~ 'Darling Motherdear, Nicky tells me I may call you so, oh thank you so much - you are too kind and good to me. How can I thank you and dear Uncle enough for the magnificent present you were so awfully kind as to send me. It is much too beautiful for me! It gave me quite a shock when I opened up the case - saw those beautiful stones. I thank you ever so much for it, and kiss your hands most tenderly. I feel so proud to have your lovely order, and am most grateful and thankful for it, and the sweet egg and dear letter - all touched me deeply. Only two days still, and then darling Nicky and I have to part, it makes me feel miserable, but I am sure that his little Motherdear is longing for him. You will let him come to England this summer, won't you, because it would be too hard to be parted so long, and Grandmama is looking forward to his visit so much. He has quite won her heart, as he has of all those who know him.'

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Nicky, Diary - April 20, 1894 ~ "Awoke with the melancholy feeling that the end had arrived of our soul to soul existence. After coffee I went with Alix to visit the widowed Duchess, who lives quite alone in her castle on the hill. At 12:45 I went with Alix to the station and said goodbye to her. She is going to Darmstadt and from there to England with Victoria (her eldest sister) to visit the Queen. How sad it seemed when I returned home! As if on purpose the weather had started to clear up and the sun broke through. Yes, it's no fun without her!'

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Nicky to Alix, April 20, 1894 - this sad Wednesday - Palais Edinburg, Coburg ~ 'My sweet darling beloved Alix! Oh! It was too awful saying goodbye like that, with a lot of people looking on from all sides! I shall never forget the sweet sad and yet smiling expression of your angelic face looking out of the window as the train was beginning to move! To know that you had to spend 9 hours in that small compartment nearly by yourself - was cruel to me and especially the thought that I was of no help any more! The coming home was more than unpleasant and when I came into my room, where you had just been a few minutes before, I could not keep back my tears. But then oh! what a delightful surprise - on my table in the bedroom there lay a note from you, my darling little girl. Thank you and thank you for the soothing comforting words you wrote in it. Oh! really those few lines did me good!'

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Alix to Nicky - April 20, 1894 - Darmstadt ~ 'My own precious Nicky Darling, I am lying in bed, but cannot go to sleep before I have written to you, as speak alas, we cannot. Oh, how I miss you, it is not be be described and I long for the two hours all alone with you. No goodnight kiss and blessing, it is hard. But our thoughts will meet won't they? Your dear telegram made my heart rejoice, and I have got it lying near me. What a delight it will be to find your letter in Windsor. And there you are rattling away in the beastly train, whilst I am comfortably installed in my own 'sweet house' - It reminds me all so much of last week - how glad I am that you have been here and know my rooms a bit. I want you badly. Forever and ever your dear photo stands before me, and makes me feel lonely. I shall write tomorrow from Windsor.'

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Alix to Nicky - April 22, 1894 - Windsor Castle ~ 'My own precious Nicky dear, I have just arrived and had breakfast with Granny. How it reminded me of Coburg and made me miss you more than ever. But there the delight t finding your sweet letter for which many tender kisses and thanks for the flowers. I am going to put them in my Bible and Prayerbook- they smell still excellently. The comfort of having your letter is great and I don't know how often I have read it in these few minutes and covered it with kisses. How I miss your kisses and blessing. The journey went off well and the crossing was splendid, not a movement and I do not feel very tired. Granny has a tiresome cough. The whole journey I kept your coin in my hand and played with it and looked at the photo - a little comfort. Not only that I miss you, but Ernie too, everything reminds me of a few weeks ago where we were here together and I feel quite lost without him. Granny tells me she has written to you - she wrote to me even to Darmstadt. Aunt Beatrice is going up to London for some function, so Granny, I and the children will be left to ourselves. Your letter has made me too awfully happy. I also feel shy to express my feelings...we shall have to conquer this weakness, don't you think so?'

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Queen Victoria to Nicky - April 22, 1894 - Windsor Castle ~ 'Dear Nicky, I must thank you very much for so kindly sending me that splendid copy of your Travels which I shall value very much. I need not say how much my thoughts (have) been with you and my sweet Alicky (Alix) since we left dearest Coburg and I am sure the parting from her will have been very painful for both... I shall watch over her most anxiously and carefully that she should get rest and quiet and do all to get strong which she has not been for some time.'

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Nicky to Alix - April 23, 1894, Gatchina ~ 'Good morning my own precious one! I am aroused from my slumber, which had been disturbed at 3.0 in the night by an insolent bat. My man, my dog and myself hunted the beast for nearly half an hour before we at last manged to catch the brute in the corner.'

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Alix to Nicky - April 30, 1894 - Windsor Castle ~ 'Oh, Nicky sweet, do you really not get frightened when you think what a creature is to become your wife, will she not drive you mad? I shall do all in my power to get my legs in order till next year, (Alix had much pain in her legs from a bad back) but it is not so easy and you who are so fond of walking, oh dear, what could I do? The post has brought me nothing from you, let's hope tonight a letter may still come, or else I shall be so sad.'

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Nicky, Diary- May 2, 1894 - Anichkov Palace, St. Petersburg ~ 'I am sitting in nothing else but my shirt, all the windows open though it's night...I ran about through our future apartments in the Winter Palace (a killing sight), returned home for 5 minutes and drove to Ella (Alix's sister). We two dined together...Ella gave me some excellent ideas about arranging our rooms- and we talked away till 11. I was glad to see her as of all the sisters she reminds me mostly of my sweet darling. Isn't it so?'

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Nicky to Alix - May 8, 1894 - Gatchina ~ 'Papa is always so dear and kind to me - today I asked whether he would allow me to go over to England in his lovely yacht the Polar Star - and he at once consented, adding he was sure I am delighted not to have to go through Berlin! I should think I am mad at the idea of going over to see my sweety by sea and on board that ship. Oh you ought to see her - she is a beauty and so comfortable, but the best of engines - she steams 18 knots easily an hour! '

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Alix to Nicky - May 10, 1894 - Harrogate (the baths in England) ~ 'I had my first sulphur bath this morning, it did not smell lovely, and made my silver bracelet, which I never take off quite black, but that one can clean with the powder one uses for cleaning up one's silver things. ' May 11, 1984 ~ 'Before slipping into bed I am going to read your sweet letter over again, and it makes me happy. Oh, what an indescribable joy it is, one is loved and longed for - and I pray on my knees that I may become worthier of your great love. Oh, my Nicky, my own sweet Boysy, dear God bless you now and for ever. I could cry for love for you. Not only do I miss you but I long for Ernie, who used to be always running into my room at every hour of the day - und ich gonne es ihm vom Herzen (and I was always happy for him to do so). A kinder, dearer brother never was... And beloved Papa, oh, it is terrible to know that I shall nevermore see him in this world. I miss him daily more and more especially now that through you my heart is so full. Tomorrow my little sister May would have been 20, think only, quite grown up. Sweet little Child that she was. But my love I think I better go to bed, as my legs have been so painful today and as I had my first bath, it is also getting on for eleven.'

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Personally, I'm so glad they didn't have telephones in those days. If they had, we probably wouldn't be reading these very private things! If you enjoy the Russian Royal Family, take a peek at the Alexander Time Machine. It has everything a person could want on these royals...pictures and descriptions of their private rooms, wonderful archives, stories, personal accounts and diagrams of the palaces...as well as lots of information on their children. It's one of the best sites out there. http://www.alexanderpalace.org/palace/ Go ahead and hit it when you're ready! You won't be sorry.

Sometimes...No words are necessary...

A Day in the Life...

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to spend a day in the life of a Queen? Or a princess? I have. I'm sure you're not surprised at that! But...let's sort of follow her around for a day...and kind of hang out. Of course, the kind of day she'd have would vary from country to country and from decade to decade. And then again, there are Queens in their own right, and Queen Consorts, which are Queens that are married to a reigning King. A Queen in her own right might be Maria Theresa of Austria--the mother of Marie Antoinette. She reigned and worked. A consort would be a Queen such as Queen Charlotte, who married the reigning monarch Mad King George.
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The Queen might be awakened by a maid or lady in waiting, and served a tray of tea or coffee, perhaps with fruit, and she might sit up and read the papers. The drapes would be opened, and after a time, her clothes for the day would be brought in (or a selection of clothes). If she was staying in the palace for the day, and no visitors were coming, she might slip into a pretty dress, but nothing too formal. She would be assisted in her dressing by a maid. The Queen would also sit down at her dressing table and would begin her toilette, which we would call 'putting on our face.' The Queen would be assisted with any makeup she might wear and her hair would be done for her. Hair ornaments would also be added, and a few jewels...perhaps a necklace and earrings.
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After that, she would be accompanied by a lady in waiting to the dining room for breakfast. Oh, did you think the coffee and fruit was breakfast? Oh, no. The King might accompany her as well. A footman would open the dining room door for her, and another uniformed footman would pull out her chair. If she had children and they were old enough they might join their parents for breakfast, and sometimes a senior lady in waiting would be invited to stay to dine. If there was a private secretary and a royal doctor, they also might be invited. It varied day to day.
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After a leisurely breakfast, the Queen would return back to her sitting room or office and begin her work. If she was a reigning Queen, she would be assisted by her personal secretary and usually her senior lady in waiting...
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As far as ladies are concerned, all ladies that assisted the queen were called "Ladies in Waiting" although there was a hierarchy of ladies. The senior one might be called "A Mistress of the Robes" and the next senior might be "Lady of the Bedchamber." Then there were assistant ladies of the bedchamber, maids of honor, etc. The senior lady in waiting would see that the Queens wishes were taken care of. If the Queen needed to appoint a lady in waiting, the Mistress of the Robes would send the letter to the lady in question. She would handle the matter and let the Queen know the details. The Mistress of the Robes acted as sort of a secretary. If the Queen wanted to see someone in the palace, a senior lady would tell a lesser ranking lady, and the person would be fetched. Also, ladies worked for a month or two at a time, and then returned to their families. At any given time there was usually between 4 to 8 ladies at court. Some kept the Queen company, and might read with her, and often the ladies chosen were noble ladies, such as Duchesses or Countesses...or women who were used to court life. It was also a plus is they could paint or draw, ride, sing, play an instrument or speak a second language.
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During her morning she would sign official documents, read important news and letters, dictate or write responses, and sometimes receive visitors. Her private secretary would give her the work in order of it's importance and usually had comments of his own to clarify the situation for her. Sometimes he might make suggestions.
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After a long morning of work, it would be time for luncheon. Again, she would be accompanied to the dining room, or if it was nice weather lunch might be laid out on a private terrace. One or two of the Queens ladies would eat with her--after all--they were there to keep her company. Luncheon wasn't usually too heavy. In the royal household, though, every meal was served on fine plates and the food arranged beautifully.
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After eating, the Queen might be ready for a break. She might wish to take the air. (That's what they called sitting outside or taking a carriage ride throughout the grounds). Fresh air and light exercise were always recommended. If the weather wasn't fair, she would retire again to her sitting room area, and perhaps read her personal correspondence...the royals were very fond of letter writing. They couldn't be too familiar with many and so it meant a lot to them to commit their feelings to paper and send them off by a special courier to their relatives. Some couriers regularly went to other countries and some delivered the royal letters to recipients inside the country. She might do some needlepoint, drawing or read by the fireplace. Sometimes in the afternoon they were visited informally, or they received visitors formally. There might be a meeting arranged, or even an afternoon drawing room. Lucky for today, the Queen has none of those!
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Before dinner, there would always be some time to rest. The Queen might be visited by some of her children or her husband...or sometimes lie down on her chaise. A lady in waiting might read to her, or the Queen might want quiet time. While she enjoyed some quiet time, the servants were busy getting things ready for...dinner.
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Her evening dresses would be brought into her dressing area for her to look at. At the appropriate time, she would go to her dressing table and begin her toilette again. Her toilette would be different for dinner. Her hair might be piled high on her head, letting tendrils fall, and jewels might be added to her hair, and for larger dinners with many guests a tiara would be chosen. (And tiara's do hurt, ladies!) The Queen might do some adjusting here and there...but her lady would do her hair and jewels. Then she would be helped into the dress most appropriate, which was usually a formal one with much lace, ruffles or beading, made of the finest fabric. (All her clothes were made just for her, and hand stitched.)r
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For all intents and purposes, we'll say that tonight will be a small dinner...just family and a few quests. The more senior servants would join them, and so their party might consist of 10 or 12 people. The King and Queen...or the Queen and her consort would assemble outside the dining room, and the family, guests and servants would line up according to precedence. Once assembled, the door would be opened and they would take their appropriate places, according to rank and precedence. If it was a larger dinner, some guests might already be seated.
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Courses were many. Candelabras were lit, and fine china was laid out. Tables were adorned with flowers and sometimes menu's. It would be appropriate to talk to the guest on your left and your right, giving equal time to each. Dinners were formal, and etiquette was stiff. Footman usually watched the Monarch, and once he or she was done with a course, they would begin taking away the dishes...to the dismay of some. If the Monarch was a fast eater--and some were--you were out of luck, and so you learned to eat fast!
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After dinner amusements were just as stiff as dinner. Guests would retire to the drawing room for cards, games and conversation. The Queen would mingle throughout the room, making sure she spoke to each person for a short bit...and she would speak to them first. Talk about the weather or riding or a person's general health were proper topics. A guest would never say, "I heard you had terrible stomach pains the other day. How do you feel?" That would be quite improper. They might say something like this: "I had heard Your Majesty was feeling indisposed earlier this week. I do hope you are recovered." And even that would be a bit too familiar! Only those close to her would say something like that. So, conversation was generic and polite.
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Sometimes there might be a band and dancing at the palace, depending on the amount of visitors that evening. On other nights, there might be a performance by a singer, or a concert or play given. They also attended the opera on some nights. They did have balls and grand balls, too...but for tonight we'll keep them close to 'home'.
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If the Queen was having a wonderful, gay time, she might be inclined to stay up later than usual. No matter how tired the guests were--and the Ladies in Waiting--they would not retire until she did. Once the Queen (and her husband) left, often there would be sighs of relief, and guests would plop down on a couch or chair, tired, with painful feet! Being invited to dine with the Crown was an honor indeed...however, because there were such firm rules of etiquette, it could be quite grating on the nerves! Guests were known sometimes to slip away into another room to sit down for a bit! Remember if the Queen stood, so did everyone else. If the Queen was sitting, the others could too. Some courts were stiff and boring and long...others were more relaxed and gay.
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Back in her bedchamber, she would be assisted with undressing and her dresser would take care of putting her precious jewels back in their safe place. Her hair might be brushed, too. If she was keyed up and not tired, she might want to read for awhile or ask a lady to read to her. Sometimes the Queen might pen a letter or write in her journal, or dictate a letter to her lady. A fire would be lit, too, to keep the Queen warm during the night.

Alone in her bed (with fluffy pillows and thick quilts) the Queen would blow out her candle at the bedside and lay down. Invariably, she would think about the day past, and more importantly, the day ahead. Nothing was left to chance. Each day and week and month were planned in advance and rarely was there anything spontaneous on the menu. The Queen might be excited about the next day...perhaps they would be traveling to a favorite vacation home. Or maybe it was something more tedious....like a levee or drawing room or even a ball! Some of these things could be trying. The Queen would have to stand on her feet for a long period of time, or, shake a thousand hands easily. But, everyday was something different.
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Hopefully, the Queen would have sweet dreams and be looking forward to something the next day! She is Queen after all, and so she shall make sure it is so! She will decree it! Her eyes would get heavy and she would relax. Sleep would come soon.

And YOU! You're only a visitor who's been graciously allowed a peek into her day! So, I think it's time to leave the Queen's bedchamber now!........Quietly, please......

Writing about those Queens...

What is it like to write about Queens? For me, it seems like the natural thing to do. It's rather fun. Entertaining. Yes, those books to the right are mine...and that's just some of them. I picked up my first book on a royal at age 23, and couldn't put it down. It was called "The Woman He Loved." I couldn't get over that book--that story--which chronicled a King, who fell in love with an American, divorced woman. And it came to be that he gave up his Kingdom for her. After reading that I got hooked. Really hooked.

From there my interest grew and I'd bring home three and four biographies at a time and read. At first I started with that King and his immediate family and then I went to his parents, and then their parents---and then Queen Victoria. I bought my first Queen Victoria book while in England in 1988. I began reading the Stanley Weintraub biography in England on the train from London to Leigh-On-Sea, where my Great Aunt lived. And I bought more royal books...and even more royal books and tapes while visiting Buckingham Palace. I hurt my back lugging home those books to the U.S.--crates of them! But back in '88 you had no choice...we didn't have Amazon.com.UK!! You grabbed the books while you could.

And I had relatives sending me information from the papers in England, and I went to book sales whenever I could and grabbed anything that looked like it pertained to nobility or royalty---it didn't matter what country the royalty was from. And now I have hundreds of books. And even now I'm not satisfied.

I've studied Josephine...and her daughter Hortense....Marie Antoinette.....Princess Diana...the Queen Mother...Queen Mary and Queen Alexandra and all of their children...Queen Victoria and all of her children and her aunts and uncles and the Regent and his daughter Charlotte...Russian Royalty...Princess Grace...Henry's wives...some of Spain's royalty, and now I've got a real old bookstore near me and I've found so many wonderful memoirs of ladies-in-waiting...servants...dignitaries and writers and poets to go along with the royal books. And of course I study families such as the Devonshires...and homes like Chatsworth.

Today I sat with four books on Queen Victoria, and a fabulous memoir and studied the timetable in the months right before she assumed the throne and right after. Why? Why, you ask? In this case its because I've got a work in progress---a novel---and it's important I get my facts straight because she---Queen Victoria!!-- is in the novel and the characters are interwoven into her life in the months just before and after Victoria took the throne. And the poor, young Queen was pushed to her limits...there was such pressure around her, and who could she really trust? (Oh, if you only knew!) There was practically no one. It's amazing really, that she did as well as she did during that beginning period on the throne. She was conceived and born to be a Queen and once she was---that was it. There was no looking back. She grabbed those reigns and did what she had to do. She had a will of her own and knew her own mind. She pushed away her forceful, domineering mother and took charge of not only her life, but the Kingdom.

The novel is about done. The fictitious characters I've added seem very real to me...and blend in wonderfully with the new "Court" at Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle ...some characters help Victoria in her new role...other characters are out to hurt and to see what they can get. But no matter who they are, they strive to keep their dirty laundry...er...private. It just wouldn't do if the Queen knew everything about the friends she is closest to. But what is the cost of keeping these secrets from her?

Next month I'm going to a big writing conference and I'm quite excited. It's being held in New Jersey and many big, big names will be attending. I'm sure that I will learn a lot and make some new friends. Luckily it's only about 35 minutes from me so I can commute.

I do get requests from readers and authors....can you suggest a certain book on a Queen or princess? What new books are coming out? What do I know about Princess so-and-so? Do I think Queen X is interesting? And I enjoy responding and helping when I can. I don't know why I do what I do..but I must examine everything and find out every little detail. For some reason I really need to know what happened behind the "facade" of royalty. I search and search and read between the lines. I need to find the hidden feelings of the royals and what they really did in their private life. Things like this----something cute about Prince Albert...he had an odd sense of humor. If he was in a room with Queen Victoria and perhaps a couple of his children, and a maid or footman happened to trip over the rug---there would be gales of laughter from the Prince-- once the servant had gone-- and the whole family would collapse with laughter. I mean, the man thought it was the funniest thing! Now, I'm not sure if that silly piece of information will get me the best table in a restaurant or even make me a large sum of money. But, if I put it all together...well, maybe it might amount to something. It may be small--mind you---but it could amount to something.

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I have one friend who loves to try to stump and test me. "How many years did so-and-so reign??" or "Explain WHY the throne went to a woman when there was a man in the family when the King died?" or "Explain the duties of a lady of the Bedchamber? Did they work in the bedroom?" he he...no, the Ladies don't really work in the Queen's bedroom or bedchamber at all. A maid would do that. For the longest time, though, I imagined the Lady of the Bedchamber did work in the bedroom!! Well....we all have a learning curve, don't we?

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Last night while I was researching, my husband made dinner and gave me my plate while I sat on my bed with my books. Later, I handed him the plate(with the food gone) and he took it. I said, "This is an important part of the research. I must feeeeel the part."

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He lets me get away with a little bit.

Her Majesty

A majestic picture... a moment in time, captured.

This portrait was taken when Queen Elizabeth returned to Buckingham Palace after her coronation ceremony. They say--truthfully---that she had a massive headache when she took off that crown. Wearing such a heavy crown takes practice and it's not particularly fun. (Not that I would know personally...but I have my sources

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This woman became Queen when she was a young wife and mother. She was in Africa with her husband Prince Philip---she had loved him from the time she was a young girl---and she got the terrible news that her father had died. Luckily, packed deep in her luggage was her black mourning clothes which were always packed, just in case. The night before his death, the King had followed his normal routine--he read in bed and had something hot to drink. In the morning, they summoned Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother and gave her the news of his passing. She was bereft. Oh, she put on her Queenly composure for her daughter and the world...but she was utterly shattered for quite some time.

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As the new Queen and her husband flew back to England, without doubt she was overwhelmed by memories of her father and mother and their family life. It is well known that the King and Queen adored their daughters, Elizabeth and Margaret Rose. Right before she married Prince Philip, the King told her in a letter that it would be the last time it would be "us four". It had always been "us four"---traveling, spending time at Royal Lodge in their garden, planning the garden, playing with their animals. The family spent cozy times together...times that I'm sure Her Majesty even now remembers with a sweet fondness. They were the ultimate, perfect royal family.

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I have a book which is rare, written by Marion Crawford. Marion was a trusted governess to the young Elizabeth and Margaret Rose. She was with them for many years in their youth. To their horror, she published a tell-all book. It was one of the first. It was quite devastating to the family...not that there is really anything shameful in it...nevertheless, they had trusted "Crawfie" and this was unexpected. From then on, whenever someone betrayed them, they'd say, "They're pulling a Crawfie." To them, "pulling a Crawfie" meant they were betrayed by someone trusted. There's no need to tell you what's in the book--since Her Majesty is alive and she might read this....well, she might...I just wouldn't dare breathe a word. She's a noble and classy woman and I respect her and I just can't in good conscience pass on secret, gossipy things about my Queen. Since I'm English, she is my Queen. As a matter of fact, the Queen's physician operated on my great grandmother Talbot in the late 1800's after a carriage accident. My great grandmother was blind after the carriage accident and could only see shadows. I think it was Queen Victoria's physician that attended to her. But she didn't feel sorry for herself...she raised 6 healthy children in the country. Her hearing was so good that the children couldn't even lift the lid off the cookie jar, no matter how hard they tried!!

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Back to the Queen, though. You aren't here to read about my grandfather trying to steal cookies...

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There's a picture called Three Queens, which was taken during the King's funeral. It's a picture of the new Queen, the Queen Mother and also the King's mother, Queen Mary. They are standing together, with black veils over their faces. It's rather chilling....sad.

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Luckily for Queen Elizabeth, her father spent much time with her, at his desk, going over the work of the sovereign...explaining what was expected and teaching her things. She loved and trusted him and learned from him. And I think he loved teaching her. They had a wonderful partnership of love and respect. Although the new Queen was probably not feeling quite ready to take on the heavy duties of the monarchy, her father undoubtedly had taught her well and I think she felt comfortable as she began her duties.

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Queen Elizabeth took much comfort from the rituals she was used to. There was Sandringham at Christmas and Balmoral in the summer. She spent many weekends at Windsor and the family has a set of apartments there. She still spends many weekends there and Prince Philip oversees the grounds. (no, he doesn't really do the work!) I'd love to be a fly on the wall there...or even a servant for that matter. I wouldn't mind polishing the furniture if it meant I could peek through some of the rooms...and maybe skip down the massive hallways and staircases. One day I'll get permission to visit the Royal Archives....I will! I have my mind and heart set on it. If I can get there, I'll produce something beautiful for sure. I don't want much in life...my family...a couple of bucks, a few books...and a long, long trip to the Royal Archives!

I do worry about the Queen these days. She's had a lot to cope with these past years, with the death of her sister Margaret and her beloved mother. The Queen, obviously, has only so many close people around her which she can really be herself with and I'm sure the loss of these two family members so close together has been very difficult. Still, she is surrounded by a large and loving family and like any matriarch, I'm sure she is adored and enjoys spoiling her grandchildren just a bit.

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She is still a vision---in her pastel suits and hats and her gowns and jewelry. She is always perfectly put together and rather elegant, if I do say so myself. As you probably know, she loves her privacy and her dogs. She loves riding and adores her horses and horse-racing.

If all Queens could be as Queenly as she---we'd have monarchies all over the world. Someday, the world will look back at her reign and she will be seen as a glittering gem, with a perfect countenance, wise... and I daresay she is quite loving and caring. She's got one of the hardest jobs in the world.

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She never really gets a vacation, you know!

A Decade...

I was sitting here thinking of what to write---I had the Marie Antoinette things laid out, and then I grabbed a book about ladies in waiting---but then remembered, its been a decade. And since its been ten years since her death, I'd be a terrible Writer of Queens if I didn't remember this beautiful woman, the woman we remember as Queen of our Hearts--Diana.

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We now know that when this picture was taken, at Highgrove--the family's country home--that Diana was simply miserable. There were many times she cried in the loo, or a locked room---and little William would pass her tissues under the door. Diana has said for all intents and purposes the marriage was over after the birth of Harry, yet---they still posed for pictures, still tried to be the happy family---at least to the world.

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It was at about this time that Diana began spending long, long stretches of time in their home in London, at Kensington Palace. Charles preferred Highgrove. Diana's sanctuary was her bedroom and sitting area, filled with her many stuffed animals...even a large hippo, which was placed by the fireplace. She and the kids loved to kick back, sit on the couch and watch movies, and eat on tray tables...they just had lots of fun. Those kids were everything to her and those children helped keep her sane. She had so many pressures that we cannot even imagine. Everyone was picking at her, everyone wanted a piece and she never knew who she could trust.

Her rooms were filled with all her favorite pictures of family---her sitting room had long, flowing chintzy drapes at the windows. There was a desk in there and couches...she loved it in there. That's where she entertained her children and friends---and even received her designers and secretary to discuss the days events--or look over clothing selections. The Diana in the above picture was just beginning to evolve into the Princess we knew in the 1990's.

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There is a new book out, which most of you probably have heard of by now--The Diana Chronicles. I have not read it myself, but will of course. But there are many, many others and I have read them all, even the very first one put out by Prince Charles's valet, back in the 1980's. Since then there's been so many tell alls---and they all paint a slightly different portrait. Andrew Morton's book has to been given serious credence, I think, because Diana herself was so involved in them. However, we are reading in there what Diana wanted us to know and not necessarily the whole unvarnished truth.

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One of the best books I've read, and it was very long and detailed, was the book written by Sally Bedell Smith. Diana's blue blood went back approximately 500 years---and being from a noble family, she knew her worth. There are the royals and the nobles. Diana was from a noble family. Some nobility have as much royal blood in them as the royals do. Smith went into that aspect of Diana's family history as well, and you come away with a better idea of what it felt like to be a Spencer. Being a Spencer was almost like being a---well, a Devonshire! The castles that the royals inhabit--Sandringham and Balmoral--- are much smaller and considered mere cottages as compared to Althorp House, the seat of the Spencers. And in the nobility circles---many of the royals now---well, let's just say they are considered "new" by noble standards...only being in the family 50 years or so. But of course, I say that with the deepest respect for the Crown. I'm just passing on what I've read. And Sally's book chronicles the marriage, and the behind the scenes machinations of both Diana's camp and Charles's, all the while letting you know what the average reader like us was hearing at the time...but what might have been really happening and why. And yes, this is the book where Sally says that Diana had a personality disorder. Oh, who will ever know, and do we even care at this point? Still, the book is packed with the most fascinating information and so, if you haven't studied her at all and are interested, I'd say try her book, "Diana". (I'll let you know about Royal Chronicles after I've read it.)

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I'd like to think that if she had lived---and oh, don't we wish she had!!---that she would've really come around and been comfortable in her own skin and a bit proud of her accomplishments. Her face would be lined a little more, but her smile still radiant. Her hair might have been a little shorter and looser---or maybe a little spikier in places and colored with light golden blond streaks, her make-up delicious, her skin still radiant, her gems brilliant. She'd be giving everyone a run for their money, and she would have been involved in so many charities and issues---she'd be jet setting all over the world on these missions. And I'm not saying she was a jet setter. But she would have been busy with important humanitarian issues--perhaps in a way that Angelina Jolie has sought to do. I think she would have spent much time abroad---in America, for one, because she was SO accepted in America. But enough of that. It appears her son's are doing much of this in their own quiet way.

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Did you know that Diana loved to clean and tidy? She was very good at it, too. She liked order. Before she married Prince Charles, her flat was immaculate. In later years she hated being alone--eating alone--sleeping alone. And she was alone a lot. She had her favorite close friends whom she'd phone and talk for hours and at the end of her life she even ventured into the kitchen to make a few dishes and she was quite proud of that. She was very good about writing thank-you's and she did them the minute she returned home from an event. She thanked everyone for what they did, no matter how small. She really was a lady in that way...and this was something instilled in her by her father..."Diana, have you finished your thank you's?" he'd

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It's been said that she was estranged from her mother at the time she died. I know that she adored her brother, but was hurt by him before she died---she had asked him for something---for a room or an area alone at Althorp--and he had declined saying that if she were to come, there would be her security to deal with and the press and he had turned her down, at least temporarily. Maybe he would have changed his mind and they would have worked that one out, but she died before they could. And there was some tension at times between she and a sister---her sister was married to one of the Queen's secretary's and so that sister probably heard things about Diana from a different vantage point and so it was hard for Diana to relax and be herself around that sister. But all in all, she loved her family. But--she was hurt. She felt she had no one to turn to--no one--that there was no where in the world she could go to get away and be by herself and be protected--no one to lean on. That's all she ever wanted...to be protected, and to have someone safe to lean on. She felt abandoned.

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And she may have been...abandoned...in a sense. You would never think of someone as beautiful as Diana as being alone. Lonely. Who could she trust? Who was really there for her?

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If she only knew how loved she really was....

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Hopefully, looking down now,(if she can) she is fully aware of the love there is for her, and she does not feel abandoned any longer.

Dark Skies Over Windsor Castle

It was on a cold and stormy day like this, at Windsor Castle, in December of 1841, that the servants and inhabitants of the Castle, and the family--the royal family, wandered the cold grounds in worry and worked in silence inside.

Inside the Blue room located near the family's apartments, was a man of 42 years of age, struggling to get better, laid up in bed, hot and sweaty. His daughter read to him, his wife stroked his head...his daughter played music for him, the doctors ministered to him. He would rally and be better...and then shockingly, turn feverish again...and the doctor's were not sure what to do. His wife whispered to him in german---sweet things--and then, when she was overcome--would leave the sickroom and go for a walk outside, in the cold air under grey, stormy skies, with the stark light grey of the castle stone hurting her eyes---well, she had been crying, and it hurt to look up.

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Below is the story of that time in December. I wrote this for The Royalist, and would like to share it with you now...

Victoria's Lasting Tribute to Her Beloved Albert

Written by Susan Flanders for the Royalist

On March 15th 1862, Queen Victoria laid the first stone in the foundation which would one day be her final resting place. It was an act she undertook for all of the new homes and buildings which would come to be of such importance in her life.This particular stone was laid with a heavy heart as it was being built years earlier than it should have been.

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Never, in her wildest dreams, would she have ever thought she would be laying the stone for the house that would hold Albert’s remains for all eternity. Her beloved Prince Consort had died in December 1861, having being seriously ill for several weeks. Although aware her husband was very sick, it was an understatement to say that his death came as a shock to the Queen. Days, even hours earlier, the doctors had believed the Prince to be making progress. Victoria had stayed with him, sitting by the bed, writing that she "found him very quiet and comfortably warm, and so dear and kind, {he} called me "gutes Frauchen" and kissed me so affectionately and so completely like himself, and I held his dear hands between mine." To the relief of the whole family, most especially the Queen, Albert seemed to continue to rally.

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The doctors were convinced the Prince had typhoid, possibly contracted due to the poor drainage system at Windsor Castle. However, it is a diagnosis which will likely never be fully confirmed. Victoria and Albert’s daughter, Princess Alice truly adored her father. Throughout his illness she sat by his sickbed, hour after hour, day after day, reading to Papa and playing the piano in an attempt to help soothe his ordeal. Queen Victoria was never far away, gently wiping her husband's brow, holding him in her arms, or whispering loving words in German. She rarely left Albert's side, except to get a few hours of fitful sleep or to take in a little exercise. On the evening of 14th of December — a date that would, for many terrible reasons, haunt the Queen forever — Albert became weaker.

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The Queen was summoned to his bedside, as were their children, although four of the nine royal offspring were missing. An increasingly distraught Victoria couldn’t believe what was happening. It couldn’t be. He was supposed to be getting better. After all, at 7am on that very morning she had been informed that the Prince was "better than he has been yet" and that "there is grounds to think that the crisis is over." Kneeling before her darling husband, the only man she had ever truly loved, Victoria watched in increasing horror and fear as Albert's life began to ebb away. How could the doctors have been so wrong? She had another eight children to raise; baby Beatrice was not even five years old. She needed him!

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All too soon, however, Victoria's worst fears were confirmed. Inside the Blue Room at Windsor Castle, Albert looked peaceful one moment and then, according to Victoria herself, "two or three long but gentle breaths were drawn, the hand clasping mine and...all, all was over...I stood up, kissed his dear heavenly forehead and called out in a bitter and agonising cry: "Oh! My dear darling!" and then dropped to my knees in mute, distracted despair, unable to utter a word or shed a tear!".The man born Francis Albert Augustus Charles Emmanuel, Prince of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, the somewhat brilliant man who had truly revolutionised not only Victoria's personal life, but her reign too, was gone. He was just 42 years old. How could Victoria ever, ever go on without him? He had been her dearest friend, her husband, lover, protector and advisor.

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Observers from the time suggested the Queen, in shock at the turn of events, was taken out of the Prince's bedchamber and helped to a sofa in the Red Room, where she laid down and uttered in despair: "There is no one to call me Victoria now." She spent the rest of the night lying with Albert’s nightshirt in her arms, baby Beatrice sleeping at her side. But Victoria herself did not sleep. Her life was in turmoil. She did not want to live. She could not cry.

Now, on March 15th 1862, here she was, laying the rock which would be Frogmore. It would be their mausoleum, and every waking second left to her would be spent making it beautiful for Albert. In some measure, the plans and building of the mausoleum brought the Queen some peace. A hugely religious lady, Queen Victoria believed he was waiting for her on the other side, and she set her thoughts "on the things above." Building Frogmore was important to the Prince Consort’s memory and equally as important to Queen Victoria’s great need to begin the healing process. She had personally chosen the spot for 'our' Frogmore, north of Home Park near Windsor Castle, just days after his death.

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Only after she made this decision did she agree to leave Windsor and return to Osborne House on the Isle of Wight, to grieve and remain secluded. Osborne was the private house which Albert had built for her. But it was more than that: it was a home.Once here, however, the Queen was consumed with thoughts of Frogmore and spent many hours working on the plans for the beautiful place she would now build for him...for them. In the years to come, the aging but still mournful Victoria spent many hours inside Frogmore, it helping to soothe and comfort her. When she entered the ornate building, she was reminded of Albert at once and felt at peace with the world. It was a unique place; not gloomy, simply quite beautiful. Even on the day of the wedding of her son and heir, Edward, Prince of Wales to the beautiful Princess Alexandra of Denmark, the Queen sought solace inside the Royal mausoleum. Prior to the wedding, the Queen took her son and future daughter-in-law inside the mausoleum---telling the bride and groom 'he' would have approved of the marriage. At the end of the day, the final guests having left Windsor, the Queen took refuge once more inside the building and "prayed by that beloved resting place, feeling soothed and calmed

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The Queen's mourning continued for many, many years (perhaps too many years). Finally refreshed, Her Majesty finally returned to the role of England's Sovereign and mother to the Empire. It may only be a building to some, but the mausoleum at Frogmore gave the Queen the rest she needed and the strength to go on. Knowing there was Frogmore, and that it was just theirs, and theirs alone, Victoria had no fear of life, nor of death. The essence of Frogmore is a glimpse of Victoria herself. To visit Frogmore today is to gain, over a century and a half later, a glimpse into one of history's most remarkable royal love stories, the like of which we may never witness again.

Baby grows up

Beatrice knew in her heart that sooner or later her dear Mama---Queen Victoria of all Britain---would give in, eventually, and let her marry the man of her dreams. Wouldn't she?

As I said in an earlier post, the Queen was furious with Beatrice for putting her in this position! She simply couldn't do without her daughter. Didn't everyone understand that? Beatrice was her confidante and she relied on her immensely for so many things. She had the weight of her world on her shoulders, and dear Albert, her husband was gone. Her nerves had been through so much. She couldn't live without Beatrice at her side.

And Beatrice dreamed of her new love night after night, knowing deep in her heart that she had met the man of her dreams, and oh, how could she ever give him up? She didn't want to hurt Mama in any way but why couldn't Mama understand that all Beatrice wanted was what the Queen herself had wanted and cherished...a man to love her and a house filled with children?She wanted to marry sweet "Liko" as he was known---the handsomest of the Battenberg brothers. And what was more, he loved her, too.

And thus began "The Battle Royale"---if there ever was one---this was it. Mother and daughter did not speak to each other. Oh, Beatrice did what she needed to do...she continued to arrange the flow of her mother's day and announce her mothers visitors and did her obligatory secretarial work, but when mealtime came, she sat in silence and ate quietly. She would not speak to her mother unless it was something of the utmost importance, most likely involving matters of the crown. There was no more small talk or gossip or even smiling. If Victoria wanted her to stay that badly, then fine. She'd stay. But she'd be as quiet as a mouse and as lifeless as could be. Needless to say, Beatrice must have been depressed and anxious over the whole situation. It was tearing her to bits. As much as she loved her mother, she was angry, too.

As for Victoria, her nerves began to be strained to the breaking point. During meals, her daughter sat quietly and stoically, ignoring her and barely speaking to anyone. As the days and weeks wore on, Beatrice became a changed woman. The Queen was distressed and quite sick over the whole ordeal. However, Beatrice had to understand that the Queen could not be familiar with anyone else. She needed a confidante and daughter that she could be intimate with. Her other daughters were off and married, some of them in far away lands. And the Queen was so lonely without her dearest husband Albert who had died so young. And he really was her dearest Albert...never had a husband been so loved. (And I mean, really!) What was Beatrice trying to do to her? If she allowed Beatrice to leave Britain and marry, she would not have the strength to go on. Her life was a series of pressures and obligations and she could not bear it.

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Do you know this went on...not six weeks...but nearly six months? I don't know many people--or anyone for that matter, that dared to push Victoria's emotions to those limits. But finally the good Queen remembered her sweet, lovely days when she was a newlywed and the times she spent with the one man who she could truly be herself with...Prince Albert. She loved him passionately, wholeheartedly...what would her life have been without him? And...thinking like this...she realized that her baby just wanted the same thing...a man to adore her and a family. Did Victoria have the right, just because of her position, to insist her daughter have less than she herself had had?

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She summoned Beatrice and offered a compromise....She could marry Henry of Battenberg---"Liko"---if she promised to remain in England at her side as her confidante, with her new husband and any children that might arrive in the future. Nothing could change. Beatrice's husband and any children would have to stay with the Queen always---and travel with her to her different homes and to London. Beatrice, ecstatic, agreed quickly to the idea and Liko also jumped at the chance. And so they were engaged and a lavish wedding on the grounds of Victoria's house on the Isle of Wight was planned. There would be tents on the grounds, flowers and a royal menu par excellence. Although Victoria was a bit nervous, despite herself, she enjoyed the planning and it did her heart good to see her daughter so contented...and began to become quite fond of Liko herself. The picture on the top left is of the royal wedding gown laid out and prepared before the wedding day. That's what things looked like in their home. For once, Beatrice felt like a Queen. Victoria even allowed Beatrice to wear her very own wedding veil....a sacred thing...and even joined the festivities of the wedding---to the degree that Victoria allowed herself to do that sort of thing. She was a bit teary when Princess Beatrice and her new husband pulled away in the carriage to begin their honeymoon. But, she stoically wiped her tears away. She would not let anyone see her emotion. These feelings would be recorded in her diary.

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Beatrice had 3 children with Liko, and the eldest child was named "Ena." Ena was a "favourite" of the Queen's...(that' what the English Royals called it---favourite). Victoria had several grandchildren that she was particularly attached to....but I won't tell you all of that now....we can save that for another day. Queen Victoria allowed the three darlings to run and play in the palaces to a degree that she had never allowed her very own children to do. The children were allowed to be somewhat intimate with their grandmother, which was quite rare. Royal protocol was lessened just a bit when it came to her three grandchildren. Pictures of the Queen during this time show her content...and rarely did she smile, but when she was with the young family, she did smile more and she became more relaxed.

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Beatrice stayed extremely close to her mother, so close that at times she felt she neglected her children just a little. Truly, she was a woman caught in the middle and this was difficult for her, but she managed to handle herself with a dignity and grace that--- really--- has not been widely recognized, but should be. Victoria was really at her best then...a tough Queen, seasoned, but very fair...and her legacy at the end of her life--- I think--- is in much part due to the devotion of Beatrice. There is not that much information on Beatrice...but, there will be a book coming out in the future on her. It's called The Last Princess, and it is not available in the United States yet.(sigh) but it is available to those of you in the UK. (Yes, I've thought of getting it from the United Kingdom!)

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Beatrice simply adored her husband--and Victoria found him quite "amiable". I daresay---and this is my opinion only---that these happy years reminded Victoria very much of her young married years with Albert. There was laughter and joy again in their homes again, and Liko, in his own way, looked after them in a sort of protective way which I think the Queen needed badly.

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Ah....fairytales....they really do come true.

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There's some sadness in their story...but, I am not here to make you sad. I'm here to tell you that Beatrice got the joy that she feared would elude her forever...loving a dear man...having her children...and doing the job she was born to do for her beloved "mama'.

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And Ena grew up to be a beautiful girl, and a Queen too. She also carried the hemophiliac gene.

Perhaps on another post I can talk more about Beatrice and Liko, and their life together. I'm definitely not finished with Beatrice yet, that's for sure. I've got Beatrice on the brain!

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Speaking about what's on the brain, I'm working on a new, long piece for the Royalist. I'm hoping it will turn out good. I'll let you know when it's ready.

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I've also been having a grand time on my new My Space page. I worked on it several weeks before I started adding friends. Its a blast!! I love it! Why am I always the last one to find out these things? LOL... My page has a royal theme (how did you ever guess?) and it's really been lots of fun. I also added so many new friends to my Bebo page.

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One of my dear friends sold her second book---and I just saw the cover!! Its sooo pretty and once its closer to publication maybe I'll ask her if I can post some information on it here....or perhaps even interview her or something. She loves royalty, castles and all of that too---and her novel is filled with a knight, a castle and a lot of love.

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Several writers have written to me to ask if they can link up with this blog---silly! Of course you can. But it's very sweet of them to ask and I'm honored that anyone would like this enough to link to it. Someone also wrote me to ask if they can interview me about writing about Queens....I don't have all the details yet, but that's such compliment. I don't know much really---except about Queens, that is.

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It's a lazy Sunday afternoon and my little Prince and my King are food shopping and I am supposed to be cleaning up a little instead of writing about Queens!

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Please let me know what you'd like to read about and I'll try to write about it.... I was even thinking of adding an extra page or two for fiction stories & excerpts on my "Queens novels"....its just a thought. Oh, do I dare?

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Psssst.....That picture on the top left...it's really Ena's wedding dress laid out. But I didn't want to spoil the story...you get the idea.

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And in case you're wondering what Princess Diana's private little nickname was...(you probably haven't been able to sleep nights wondering, I know!) ...only family and very close friends called her this...they called her "Duch."

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Stay cozy in your castles this week and treat yourselves like the Queens you are...